What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
accomplished twins. life is a go
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
