I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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