TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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