No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
