once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
