"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
