I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
