How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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