God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
