You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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