Im at strip club and am horny
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
