youre lurking in front of me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
