This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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