its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
