After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
