Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
