There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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