with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
