we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
