She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it because I queefed?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
