What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
