We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
