do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
