I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
