Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
