I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
