Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
