I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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