No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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