dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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