how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
found the other keg... it's in the tree
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
