The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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