How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
