I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
