Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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