I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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