All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
