good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
