i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
