Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
