you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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