Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
