the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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