Whod you bang
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
