I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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