Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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