Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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