who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
ttyl tear gas
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
