When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
