The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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