I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
