I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
